7 Lessons from 7 Years of Sobriety
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A few weeks ago, I celebrated seven years of sobriety.
Giving up alcohol has been the single greatest thing I have done for my self-esteem, relationships, and career.
Since my teenage years, I had always been a "party girl." Giving up that part of my identity felt like I was severing off a part of my personality.
But living a half-life consumed by alcohol felt like I was severing off my future.
I didn't know that on the other side of sobriety was joy, pain, healing, and hope.
It has been a wild ride where I have been unable to numb the ups and downs of life, but one that has given me the gifts of integrity, pride, and high self-esteem.
Here are my top seven lessons from the past seven years.
Lesson 1: Sometimes Things Get Worse Before They Get Better
Embarking on a self-improvement journey often means facing uncomfortable truths about yourself. When I first got sober, my life didn't magically improve overnight. In fact, I encountered severe health issues, including an autoimmune disease and chronic fatigue, which were compounded by a diagnosis of PTSD. It was a period of intense struggle, but I held on, knowing that real growth often comes after enduring significant challenges. This principle applies universally—whether you're starting a business, navigating a major life change, or stepping into a leadership role, things might get tough before they improve. Stay the course, because the transformation is worth it.
Lesson 2: Boundaries are the Key to High Self-Esteem
Strong boundaries are essential for maintaining high self-esteem. They define how you treat yourself and how others treat you. Internal boundaries involve commitments to yourself, like getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, and nurturing your passions. External boundaries dictate how others can interact with you. By enforcing these boundaries, you create a foundation of respect and self-worth that supports all areas of your life, from personal relationships to professional endeavors. Setting and maintaining these boundaries has been a transformative practice in my own journey.
Lesson 3: You Can Change Your Whole Life with the Right Mentors
Mentorship is invaluable. Whether through a therapist, coach, or an indirect mentor, having someone who has walked the path you aspire to is crucial. My former therapist played a significant role in my recovery and growth, helping me transform my relationship patterns and secure a healthier attachment style. I have always invested in a coach and a therapist, even when I had a small amount of income coming in. I have always had a sponsor in 12-step. Investing in mentorship has been one of the best decisions I’ve made, providing guidance and support that has been instrumental in my personal and professional development. Seek out mentors who embody the qualities and success you aspire to achieve.
Lesson 4: The Risk is Worth It If You Back Yourself
Backing yourself is essential when taking risks. Whether it was getting sober at 27 or leaving a stable corporate job to start my own business, believing in myself has been crucial. A lot of people told me not to quit my stable job. A lot of people told me I didn’t need to stop drinking. But I knew I had to do these things to become the woman I’m meant to be. Others may not always understand or support your decisions, but your inner confidence and conviction can drive you forward. Taking risks aligned with your true desires can lead to profound personal and professional growth. Trust your instincts and support yourself through these pivotal moments.
Lesson 5: You Don’t Need to Hit Rock Bottom to Ask for Help
You don’t have to wait for a crisis to seek help. Recognizing that things could be better and taking proactive steps to improve them is a sign of strength, not weakness. My decision to get sober wasn't driven by external chaos but by an internal realization that I wanted more from life. This principle applies to all aspects of self-improvement. Don’t wait for things to become unbearable—reach out for support and make changes as soon as you recognize the need.
Lesson 6: Community is Crucial for Lasting Change
Being part of a supportive community is vital for sustained growth. In my case, the 12-step community provided a network of people who understood my struggles and supported my journey to sobriety. Surrounding yourself with individuals who share your goals and values creates an environment where you can thrive. Whether it’s a professional network, a support group, or a community of like-minded individuals, being part of a collective with shared aspirations accelerates your progress and provides a safety net during tough times.
Lesson 7: Only Take Advice from People Who Have What You Want
Be selective about whose advice you take. Seek guidance from those who have achieved what you aspire to, whether it’s in business, relationships, or personal growth. Their experiences and insights are more likely to be relevant and beneficial to your journey. This approach has helped me immensely, ensuring that I stay aligned with my goals and values while avoiding misguided advice from those who haven’t walked the same path.
Reflecting on these seven years of sobriety, I am deeply grateful for the lessons learned and the growth experienced. These principles have not only helped me maintain sobriety but have also been instrumental in building a thriving business and leading a fulfilling life. If these insights resonate with you, I encourage you to apply them to your own journey. Share this with anyone who might benefit, and feel free to reach out with your thoughts and experiences.
Keep dreaming your big f*cking dreams.